you explained the dilemma of being a young female academic doing capital-T theory so well! feeling the internal and external pressure of being in a male-dominated field where you first have to fight to be taken seriously before you can even make a contribution to the conversation and even then having to soften yourself with feminist labels or theory that simultaneously offer safe heaven where you can claim some authority but also not really bc there’s still so much you don’t know and just ugh the whole messiness of it! i have so many thoughts on this but mostly just oof solidarity with my brethren rip us
but also if something i’ve learned from feminist thinkers it is that reflecting personal or lived experience can be genuine modes of theorizing, does that mean that is all women should be confined to? no, but it is something we can learn from and value as much as boys-club theory. i think that on some level feminists can appreciate the vulnerability of the personal essay because that introspection is what the whole movement was built on, women observing, reflecting, and speaking out about the conditions of their life. the works of bell hooks (esp her essay Theory as Liberatory Practice), audre lorde and gloria anzaldua come to mind since they often built from personal anecdotes to think about the patriarchy. Idk maybe this mode of theorizing from lived experience is just another manifestation of what you identify as women only being allowed to be authorities on themselves, and even then only when it comes to a particular kind of melancholic noble suffering that is non-threatening to the men who do the Real Thinking idk would love to hear your thoughts on this :))
this is so well put thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!! i think it’s such an interesting push and pull and of course we need both. i think also like if you think about marxism the idea of ‘workers inquiry’ is really similar to the feminist tradition of consciousness raising, both of which ARE about talking about personal experience and suffering. i think the thing about that is like workers inquiry offers a layer of detachment because you are the external theorist/sociologist/etc making observations whereas the feminist mode as a woman places you inherently within the group you are observing. and that feels different for some reason that’s hard to articulate? it’s so hard to disentangle what’s like ideas about what ‘real theory’ is that are imposed externally and what’s actually valid criticism. sorry this is long and rambly but yes you’re right it’s so messy!! confusing!! really appreciate your comment x
This really resonates with something I’ve been thinking about lately!
I’m Italian, and here in Italy there’s a sort of rise in autofiction. Almost all the most prestigious literary prizes are won by authors who write autofiction, and most bestsellers are some form of memoir.
Even when authors claim their work is fiction, people are convinced it’s autobiographical—yes, I’m talking about My Brilliant Friend.
Personally, I really appreciate autofiction. Still, I don’t like the general tendency in the Italian writing community, because it seems that authors (especially aspiring writers) are more interested in making their own lives seem remarkable than in creating art through literature.
For me, this has a lot to do with capitalism and the cult of the individual, which I think you expressed perfectly in your piece.
I think we can say it’s a general tendency. However, I feel like women tend to do it more, so yeah, I guess there is a gendered aspect to this phenomenon. And as you said in your piece, I think it’s because women are not generally perceived as legitimate creators in the same way men are. So their lives become one of the few things they feel confident talking about.
However, our exchange gave me the inspiration to write something more structured about it. I don’t want to sound like I’m promoting myself ahahaah, but if you’re interested, I’d be happy to share it with you once it’s finished.
This is really interesting, and when I think about it, tje kind of vulnerability I’ve read from women’s writing, especially on Substack, is something I don’t know if I’ve really seen at all from male writing
Love this Kate, you summed my feelings up and then some! This part - ‘A badly written personal essay feels like a college application, but a good one is like a long and delicious post-dinner chat with your most interesting friend. My aversion is not to personal essays as a category. It is to the media landscape and attention economy that pushes young female writers towards it as a medium’ is just one of the excerpts that resonated with me deeply and in better words than I think I could have found. You are completely right that while young women have every right to explore their raw feelings and experiences through art, there is something unhealthy that it’s often the bar for women’s media.
Really feel this. But my thoughts have always emerged the other way - when I do dense theory stuff I inevitably want to make it more personal and subjective as a way of showing that critical writing is in itself not ‘objective’. I find that there are lots of ‘theory bro’ types who tend to get away with cold rationalism I’ve never sought to emulate
I'm in my final year of secondary school and have my summer exams soon. In English Paper 1, the exam that focuses on composition and comprehensions rather than studied material, the last part of the test we must complete is to write a short story or speech or personal esssay or some other kind of written piece from a given prompt.
The personal essay, for me, is by far the easiest option yet I remain conflicted with choosing to write through that medium. I don't want to carelessly leak precious parts of myself away to my examiner, but it's also just so easy to write from lived experiences in a timed exam. And of course I could always make something up. I know multiple people who plan on writing about the grief of a parent who is very much still alive. But I wonder how sincere that could come across. How quickly, or even at all, will the examiner clock that what I'm saying is a bunch of bs? Ultimately I will probably just write some glorified diary entry-esque personal essay, but it still rubs me the wrong way, like offering myself up to a stranger more focused on the quality of my writing and if it fulfills the marking scheme's requirements.
I really enjoyed your essay. A thought provoking piece.
So interesting that people are making up traumas for this, it's an impulse I can entirely understand! It feels like its easiest to write something 'impactful' when you're invoking serious trauma. (hope your exams go well!)
This is incredible writing. I felt it in my bones! This was deeply vulnerable - it’s like pride and prejudice being a movie without kissing yet it being so sexually charged.
this is fantastic. it’s certainly not the same, but i think a lot of gay men fall into the tendency to write personal essays (and novels) about trauma and coming out and being rejected by family and lovers and it’s all one big tragedy. of course, i’ve found that the personal essays i write on substack do the best in terms of engagement, so there are different incentives at play.
i also question the objectivity of journalism, and i love that you included that discussion here too. i’m coming from the perspective of someone who studied social sciences but is pivoting to j-school in the fall. everything we write must come from a principled perspective — otherwise, what the hell are we doing?
I love love love this. Resonate with a lot of it but am on the other side- the only thing I have to write about is my trauma, my vulnerability and I haven’t studied ever. This opened my eyes. Thankyou!
you explained the dilemma of being a young female academic doing capital-T theory so well! feeling the internal and external pressure of being in a male-dominated field where you first have to fight to be taken seriously before you can even make a contribution to the conversation and even then having to soften yourself with feminist labels or theory that simultaneously offer safe heaven where you can claim some authority but also not really bc there’s still so much you don’t know and just ugh the whole messiness of it! i have so many thoughts on this but mostly just oof solidarity with my brethren rip us
but also if something i’ve learned from feminist thinkers it is that reflecting personal or lived experience can be genuine modes of theorizing, does that mean that is all women should be confined to? no, but it is something we can learn from and value as much as boys-club theory. i think that on some level feminists can appreciate the vulnerability of the personal essay because that introspection is what the whole movement was built on, women observing, reflecting, and speaking out about the conditions of their life. the works of bell hooks (esp her essay Theory as Liberatory Practice), audre lorde and gloria anzaldua come to mind since they often built from personal anecdotes to think about the patriarchy. Idk maybe this mode of theorizing from lived experience is just another manifestation of what you identify as women only being allowed to be authorities on themselves, and even then only when it comes to a particular kind of melancholic noble suffering that is non-threatening to the men who do the Real Thinking idk would love to hear your thoughts on this :))
this is so well put thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!! i think it’s such an interesting push and pull and of course we need both. i think also like if you think about marxism the idea of ‘workers inquiry’ is really similar to the feminist tradition of consciousness raising, both of which ARE about talking about personal experience and suffering. i think the thing about that is like workers inquiry offers a layer of detachment because you are the external theorist/sociologist/etc making observations whereas the feminist mode as a woman places you inherently within the group you are observing. and that feels different for some reason that’s hard to articulate? it’s so hard to disentangle what’s like ideas about what ‘real theory’ is that are imposed externally and what’s actually valid criticism. sorry this is long and rambly but yes you’re right it’s so messy!! confusing!! really appreciate your comment x
This really resonates with something I’ve been thinking about lately!
I’m Italian, and here in Italy there’s a sort of rise in autofiction. Almost all the most prestigious literary prizes are won by authors who write autofiction, and most bestsellers are some form of memoir.
Even when authors claim their work is fiction, people are convinced it’s autobiographical—yes, I’m talking about My Brilliant Friend.
Personally, I really appreciate autofiction. Still, I don’t like the general tendency in the Italian writing community, because it seems that authors (especially aspiring writers) are more interested in making their own lives seem remarkable than in creating art through literature.
For me, this has a lot to do with capitalism and the cult of the individual, which I think you expressed perfectly in your piece.
Thats so interesting thank you for sharing! Do you find autofiction in Italy also has a sort of gendered aspect to it?
I think we can say it’s a general tendency. However, I feel like women tend to do it more, so yeah, I guess there is a gendered aspect to this phenomenon. And as you said in your piece, I think it’s because women are not generally perceived as legitimate creators in the same way men are. So their lives become one of the few things they feel confident talking about.
However, our exchange gave me the inspiration to write something more structured about it. I don’t want to sound like I’m promoting myself ahahaah, but if you’re interested, I’d be happy to share it with you once it’s finished.
yes i’d love to read, please share when you’re done!!!
This is really interesting, and when I think about it, tje kind of vulnerability I’ve read from women’s writing, especially on Substack, is something I don’t know if I’ve really seen at all from male writing
Love this Kate, you summed my feelings up and then some! This part - ‘A badly written personal essay feels like a college application, but a good one is like a long and delicious post-dinner chat with your most interesting friend. My aversion is not to personal essays as a category. It is to the media landscape and attention economy that pushes young female writers towards it as a medium’ is just one of the excerpts that resonated with me deeply and in better words than I think I could have found. You are completely right that while young women have every right to explore their raw feelings and experiences through art, there is something unhealthy that it’s often the bar for women’s media.
Incisive & fantastic. Nothing clever to say from me here---just glad that you have written this. Wonderful work 💞
thank you! 💞
Really feel this. But my thoughts have always emerged the other way - when I do dense theory stuff I inevitably want to make it more personal and subjective as a way of showing that critical writing is in itself not ‘objective’. I find that there are lots of ‘theory bro’ types who tend to get away with cold rationalism I’ve never sought to emulate
I'm in my final year of secondary school and have my summer exams soon. In English Paper 1, the exam that focuses on composition and comprehensions rather than studied material, the last part of the test we must complete is to write a short story or speech or personal esssay or some other kind of written piece from a given prompt.
The personal essay, for me, is by far the easiest option yet I remain conflicted with choosing to write through that medium. I don't want to carelessly leak precious parts of myself away to my examiner, but it's also just so easy to write from lived experiences in a timed exam. And of course I could always make something up. I know multiple people who plan on writing about the grief of a parent who is very much still alive. But I wonder how sincere that could come across. How quickly, or even at all, will the examiner clock that what I'm saying is a bunch of bs? Ultimately I will probably just write some glorified diary entry-esque personal essay, but it still rubs me the wrong way, like offering myself up to a stranger more focused on the quality of my writing and if it fulfills the marking scheme's requirements.
I really enjoyed your essay. A thought provoking piece.
So interesting that people are making up traumas for this, it's an impulse I can entirely understand! It feels like its easiest to write something 'impactful' when you're invoking serious trauma. (hope your exams go well!)
this was great — loved how you tied in Martha Gellhorn’s journalistic work during the Spanish Civil War
Fantastic piece of writing xx
This is incredible writing. I felt it in my bones! This was deeply vulnerable - it’s like pride and prejudice being a movie without kissing yet it being so sexually charged.
this is fantastic. it’s certainly not the same, but i think a lot of gay men fall into the tendency to write personal essays (and novels) about trauma and coming out and being rejected by family and lovers and it’s all one big tragedy. of course, i’ve found that the personal essays i write on substack do the best in terms of engagement, so there are different incentives at play.
i also question the objectivity of journalism, and i love that you included that discussion here too. i’m coming from the perspective of someone who studied social sciences but is pivoting to j-school in the fall. everything we write must come from a principled perspective — otherwise, what the hell are we doing?
I think you’d like the Second Sex, lots of social and class insights there and it’s somewhat neglected these days.
I have always felt that the female self-disclosing personal online essay was a modern form of the old confessional magazines.
I love love love this. Resonate with a lot of it but am on the other side- the only thing I have to write about is my trauma, my vulnerability and I haven’t studied ever. This opened my eyes. Thankyou!
LOVE this and agree with all of it!!!!!! and a very nicely done personal anecdote intro too
I loved this, you put into words a lot of what I've been feeling regarding the literary world rn for women.
!!!